Today I spent the entire day with my mom. At the spa. It was so heavenly to be able to do nothing for a whole day but it was also so odd (or o-d-d if you've been reading this blog for a while ;)) to have that much time to myself. With Mother's Day being tomorrow I think it was only natural that I started to think about how things have changed this past year - to reflect about becoming a mom. I think the biggest change is how all the little things have changed!
Jonah has started laughing a lot more frequently these days, and each time he does I just want to bottle it up and save it for the days when he's a bit older and upset about something or we aren't getting along....babies laughs are seriously like a million bursts of goodness - just full of joy and so much hope, you can't help but smile when you hear it. Sounds so cliche but it is seriously true. We'll have to settle for lots of footage from our Flip Camera - we made him do "dancing baby" last night from Ally McBeal ...stripped him down to his diaper and made him dance on the kitchen table (ha!)
I think I used to see people who would oogle over their kids and sort of think get over yourself people! I realize now reading this that that sounds so totally ignorant of me but I really didn't mean any harm about it - I think I was just sort of oblivious but didn't mean it in a mean spirited way - and I am by no means saying that everyone who doesn't have kids is selfish - far from it. I am totally one of "those parents" now and ironically I feel like "getting over myself" is just what having a baby has helped me to do - or at least to be more aware of. I used to be so consumed by me, my agenda, what I was going to do, where I was going, with who, how, when - that I sort of forgot about others. I was married for five years before having Jonah but really my husband and I are both pretty independent people, and the relationship between two adults is different than a parent and child obviously - so the transformation for me has been huge. It's not just a "me" world anymore - it's our world.
I think I used to see people who would oogle over their kids and sort of think get over yourself people! I realize now reading this that that sounds so totally ignorant of me but I really didn't mean any harm about it - I think I was just sort of oblivious but didn't mean it in a mean spirited way - and I am by no means saying that everyone who doesn't have kids is selfish - far from it. I am totally one of "those parents" now and ironically I feel like "getting over myself" is just what having a baby has helped me to do - or at least to be more aware of. I used to be so consumed by me, my agenda, what I was going to do, where I was going, with who, how, when - that I sort of forgot about others. I was married for five years before having Jonah but really my husband and I are both pretty independent people, and the relationship between two adults is different than a parent and child obviously - so the transformation for me has been huge. It's not just a "me" world anymore - it's our world.
On the other hand I don't want to be one of those parents that loses themselves completely in their children - I think it's so important for our entire family that we each have our own identity and interests and lives, but what I never could have imagined was how intricately things would be woven, how tightly we would be bound. Our decisions now are about our family vs just ourselves. It has been a beautiful change and is such a delicate dance and I wouldn't trade it for a second. I love love love being a mom.
1 comment :
Beautiful page - and love the sentiment in your post. Happy mother's day!!
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