Getting better...

Pin It Now! I have never been one to workout.  Luckily pre-kids you couldn't really tell.  I could eat for the most part what I wanted.  I wasn't the most fit looking person but I could fake it when I needed to.  In the last five or so years that has started to change....and two kids and two years later and that is certainly no longer the case.  I have a completely different body than I did prior.  And that's ok - obviously it was all worth it.  But the truth is?  I'm mad that I let myself get to the point where I didn't take care of myself physically in the first place.  I spent some time with a dear old relative this past week.  Realistically she doesn't have much time left with us - and I think she knows that.  But she is the sweetest most gentle soul.  Her body is totally failing her though.  She's all hunched over, uses a cain, she's frail.  It sort of made me want to kick myself.  I realized in that moment that we have one body - and that I should probably start treating mine properly.

Here's the thing:  all along I kept waiting for this magical moment where I'd want to workout.  Where it wouldn't seem like a chore.  Where I wouldn't dread it.  Because dreading something isn't good right?  I rationalized it by telling myself that if I had 40 free minutes to myself each day I'd rather do something I actually enjoy (which was always something sedentary like lying down on the couch and watching TV).

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I wish I could say that the moment came when I had an epiphany and realized what would make me feel excited about working out....but I think I've come to the realization that for me at least that moment will never come.  I read somewhere recently about someone who lost a lot of weight and one of the catalysts was that she realized that it wasn't that clothes looked bad on her prior, it was that her body looked bad in the clothes - and if you were fit then, well everything would look good.  It all sounds so petty, so shallow - and I always prided myself on not really caring that much about that type of stuff.  But if I'm being honest with myself I think that was just a bit of a cover for the real truth - that I just don't really like to workout so I would just put it off.  The truth is I don't enjoy it.  I don't look forward to it, I see it as a total chore, there are numerous reasons - one big one which sounds ridiculous but I feel is totally rational is that I hate having to wash my hair - I have such thick hair and it takes for-EVER so not working out saves me time....ok so that's one reason I hate it, realistically I probably always will. But at the same time - I do want to be able to go shopping for clothes and buy what I like vs. thinking "will this cover the inner tube that's hanging around where my stomach used to be?" 

This picture has nothing to do with this post I just think it's funny and I hate to have a post with no picture.

Then a funny thing happened to me and I realized what would and could (hopefully) be my motivation to make myself stick with working out and eating healthy.  I want to commit myself to eating better and working out because I'm so sucky at it.  I'm good at most things.  Not to brag, but it's true.  I'm a good mom.  I'm a good friend, I'm good at my job, I try hard to be a good person and I put my heart and soul into things that I enjoy and as a result I'm good at them and have a great life.....I think because I love what I do (in general/work,mom, etc) then by nature it doesn't really feel like a chore.  But I hate working out - I suck at working out.  I'm the queen of excuses.  Even when I do workout I sometimes secretly "accidentally" on purpose show up 5 minutes late so that I can skip the first five minutes of a class.  So I need to do this to prove myself wrong.  To kick my own but.  To think about my long term self.  Of me at 85 - I want to be the healthiest me that I can be, all along the ride.

So - pardon me while I go downstairs and put on my Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD (Barf!)

All the little things

Pin It Now! This life of mine is so different now then it was two years ago.  K. and I have been reminiscing about how quickly and how much our lives have changed in such a short period of time.  I am constantly amazed by how normal this all feels considering just how DIFFERENT it is.  I got my hair done this week for the first time in I think around 6 months judging by my roots and was amazed to hear myself telling my hairdresser that the amount of sleep you get just somehow feels normal and you get used to living on less sleep.  I remember I used to be the type of person that would count the hours of sleep I'd get and if it was in the 8-10hr zone I would be happy, anything under 8 hours and I'd plan for a rough day.  Now I think that 8 hours would be a small miracle and I think my new normal is probably between 5 and 7 but honestly I've stopped counting.

I really feel so blessed to have these two little boys in my life and it really is all the little things that I love most:
The gross fuzz in between Liam's toes
Cleaning up Jonah's thousand little plastic toys after he is in bed
Folding tiny clothes
Checking in on Jonah at night - he's getting big enough that he knows how to open his sleep sac zipper so I'll tuck his legs back in and do up the zipper
Getting scared by Jonah when he shouts"BO!"
Seeing Liam's little eyes light up at the sight of his big bro
Hiding Jonah's little sesame street characters in various places around the house and watching him get so excited when he finds them
Maintaining our house: Cleaning, menu planning, grocery shopping, tidying up in the evenings when I know they are both sound asleep upstairs.

I was lucky enough to knock out a few layouts for Liam a week or so ago when he took a miraculously long nap - I am still obsessed with all things teal and yellow:

Liam is two months old this week - eee!  We had his 8 week check up and I forgot to ask how long he was but he is 12lbs.09oz so trucking along in the weight department....I knew that his carrier was starting to feel heavier!  He is getting even better with his sleeping now going from about 9 or so until 5:30 or 6am - it's been so wonderful - I need to get better at going to bed earlier b/c I'll just stay up in the morning until Jonah is up now so need to get better at heading to bed before 11:30 or so.  Liam has been fussy in the evenings and eventually will go down at about 8:30 or 9.   He's started smiling and coo-ing, almost conversationally.  It's cute!  His little heart birthmark on his chest is now really red and raised - it is adorable and turns out he has a tiny one on his cheek too...I thought it was just a little scrape but nope, it's another strawberry.  We go lots of places together.  I've started going to the gym a few times a week so he comes with me and so far is a pro at the daycare there.  He's also started to tolerate his mamaroo for a few minutes at a time which is handy come dinner time.  He is starting to like to kick around in his activity mat too which is another dinnertime helper.  The toughest part of our day is Jonah's dinnertime because they are just both cranky so what I'll normally do is either wheel over Liam's bassinet to the table or put his carseat up on the table so that I can have one hand for each of them.  Normally by the time Kirk gets home at 6 or so I'm pretty wiped from that dinner hour mayhem but the rest of the day they are pretty good together.  I am thankful for the break I have with Jonah at daycare, the mornings with both of them have become a nice routine, I let them each wake up on their own time and we just take our time getting ready, playing and having breakfast.

K gotta run - sounds like nap time is done!  

Jonah @ 18 months

Pin It Now! Today is Jonah's year and a half marker - pretty hard to believe last year at this time I had a 6 month old baby and wasn't even pregnant with Liam and this year I have my two beautiful babies!
We go to the doctor's in a few weeks for his checkup but I had him get on our scale this morning and it looks like his 28 pounds, my big sack of potatoes.  I had him get on the scale because I was curious about his weight but also because I have had to become a total entertainer/distractor these days to keep him busy/out of trouble.  He is a wonderful boy - SO boisterous and ultra curious - into anything and everything and runs everywhere.

At 18 months - Jonah:
-Loves to eat!  Especially soup with rice and veggies and chicken or ground beef, meatballs, fruit - watermelon, grapes, tangerines, kiwi and strawberries.  His favourite treats are french fries and timbits.
-So far doesn't seem crazy about eggs, cheese (what the heck?) and raisins
-Loves to play outside, runs around, shoots a ball around with his mini hockey stick
-Started talking more and tries to repeat words.  Favourites are: Dada, Hieeeee, Stuck, Duck, Babeee, Meee Mee, Momma, Quack and Moo.
-LOVES to sing and dance.  The boy has rythem.  Bops his little bum around anytime a song comes on the tv, radio, a toy - whatever, he's not picky.  Hums songs all day long, Frere Jaques is his current have.
-Is a sweet soul to his brother, always trying to rock him, put in his soother, say hi - but a bit jealous I think as he's also gotten a little suckier since he's been here.
-Starting to use his own spoon.
-Thinks it's funny to do something naughty then look over and give a HUGE big cheeky smile.  It's hard not to laugh.
-Still a great sleeper, goes down between 6-7 and wakes around 7-8 with one afternoon nap, sometimes two on the weekends.

-Just now starting to play strange if someone new comes to the door or if someone he doesn't know tries to talk to him when we are out.  Still wants to be social but acts a bit bashful now to strangers. 

-Loves to be a helper - particularly with the vacuum! 

-Is really into how things work, super picky about the toys that he finds interesting and really only interested in toys that "do something" (stacking, building etc).  

-Makes me proud to be his mom! 

xoxo

Liam @ One Month

Pin It Now!

One month? Four weeks?  Eek - how on earth did that happen?  I'm glad I remembered really - I am the youngest child so am trying to make a conscious effort not to forget to document things for Liam in the same manner that I did for Jonah -BUT - I do have to say now that I have two - I completely understand how it happens!  And it's not what I would have thought (that I'd be too busy, frazzled, distracted, etc) - it's more that with Liam here we just feel so natural and since we've been through it all before I forget that he's new.  It's like this team of four is an engine that's plugging away together - It is so nice!
So at one month Liam...:
-Sleeps!  The child sleeps!  Praise the Lord.  For sure my favourite habit of his :) - he is a really restful soul, goes down at about 8 or so and sleeps till 3 some nights then back up at 6 or so - other nights will be up at 1 and then again at 5 or so - its nuts and the complete opposite of his brother so completely NOT what i was expecting.  I tend to wake up to check on him if he goes longer than 5 hours but he's gaining weight steadily so I'm not going to rock the boat on that one.
-Lifts his head and neck when he's perched on one of us - has a crazy strong neck, was born that way!  Came out and started peeking around like a little bird.
-Weighs 10 lbs .07oz, and steadily gaining weight
-Still has long little chicken legs and a skinny bum and is still all "curled up" like a pretzel if you unswaddle him.
-Is hairy!  Ha!  Makes me laugh that he has hair all over his body
-Started to look around and focus
-Loves his hands, grasps around his face - I have a feeling he'll have a special blankie or stuffie in the future.

-Hated his first few baths but seemed to like the last one (although he's only had 5 total.  Stinky pants.  I sort of feel guilty about it because it's totally the second child thing happening here but am definitely more laid back this time and he just seems cool with it, I mean he's a boy and boys like dirt right?).
-Becoming a lot more alert during the daytime with lots of coos and squeaks.  Lets us know if he wants a new diaper, is hungry etc.  Likes to eat every few hours during the day.
-Takes his soother and likes to chillax with it during the day and a little bit at night.
-Not really a fan of the car or his swing yet - getting a bit better with both but during the day likes to be flat in his bassinet with his arms above his head.
-Sleeps in his crib at night in the miracle blanket then with a little baby sleeping bag on top for some extra warmth

-Is a pretty great sport considering the amount of poking (Jonah), licking (Ben) and "rocking" (Jonah) that goes on.  We're working on being gentle.

I cannot believe that I have a one month old and an almost one and a half year old!  Jonah turns one and a half on Tuesday, his favourite song these days is the Happy Birthday song so I'm going to do a little something special for him to celebrate ;0) 

Trip down memory lane

Pin It Now! I am so behind in posting layouts on here - so am going to try to slowly get caught up!

I think this pic is from around Sept or so, and the layout is from my scrapping trip in the fall - before Jonah had even turned one and now we're nearing his 18 month mark - crazy to think about!

Lots of my mind's eye on here and I love those canvas rolled flowers.  

Our house of boys is doing great - Liam is a great baby, we call him Benjamin Buttons because he looks like such a little old man sometimes.  Jonah is doing great, practicing lots of new words like Whale (wha-wole), Apple, Shoes (sooos) and Baby (Ba-bee) and the ever popular Duck and Quack noise - I nearly died the other day when I was singing "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands" and his refrain was "Quack Quack!" - funny boy :) 

Special Delivery!

Pin It Now! We welcomed little Liam Glenn into our lives last Thursday April 12th and life with him has been so wonderful and sweet. It honestly does not feel like just over a week that he's been with us, he fits in so well.

I ended up being induced last Thursday - my dr. gave me the choice of being induced then or waiting over the weekend - I was 8 days overdue at that point so chose to go ahead with the induction even though I was wanting to have him naturally - I was just at the end of my rope by that point, SO big and uncomfortable - and rightfully so - the little guy weighed in at 8.5 pounds and an extra long 22 inches!  He is long and skinny - opposite of Jonah who was 8.6 lbs and 20 inches - he is our chubby bunny.  Other than that Jonah and Liam are so similar looking - I see a bit more of me in Liam but overall they are really really similar - I'm thrilled b/c obviously I think Jonah is just the cutest!  And his birthdate allowed for my dear friend Emily to meet him right before she moved to South Africa so the timing was great.

Jonah is having a bit of a tough time with the transition - he loves his bro and wants to look at him, kiss him and gently touch him - but we do notice he's being a little "suckier" than normal - wanting to be picked up, crying on a dime etc - just not his normal happy go lucky self - we are giving him lots of cuddles and attention to help him with the transition and I know pretty soon it will pass but it's heartbreaking none the less.  I keep telling him we love him so much and we are so lucky to have him but he's not even a year and a half old so I'm sure the whole thing is just confusing to him.  He is our little pet though - funnier by the day - he loves having his hair brushed, it's seriously the most adorable thing on earth to watch, his eyes close and he smiles when we brush his hair.  He also loves to dance - if music comes on or if we start to sing he shakes his little booty and turns around.  

Liam is a wonderful baby - I swear I have gotten more sleep in the last week than I got in Jonah's first month of life and I really don't think I'm exaggerating - part of it is that I'm more relaxed I'm sure so when he's sleeping I am able to sleep also but part of it is that he's just easier to get to sleep and stays asleep so far - he's already slept a few nights in his crib which has been great.  It's also worked out that he goes down initially a bit earlier than Jonah as a newborn which is nice because has given Kirk and I a bit of a break in the evenings.  I know that any day his sleep schedule could turn on a dime so I'm thankful for each restful night we have.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

Pin It Now! This is the eve of my due date with baby number 2 - clearly he's following in his big bro's footsteps and going to show up fashionably late and while with Jonah I was itching to go into labour at this time in my pregnancy (or about 2 or 3 weeks prior if I'm being honest) this time around I'm enjoying these last few days of solitude and rest before the baby arrives.  And the fact that I am blow drying my hair while on the laptop.  Two things that I know I may not get to do again (let alone in tandem) for quite some time!

I worked right up till the 11th hour with this pregnancy and this past week it's really hit me (partially) just how much our lives are about to change.  I know I will never be fully prepared for what's about to happen but I just had a lot more time to think about things with Jonah.  With this pregnancy whenever I did have time to pause and think about a baby I just automatically thought of Jonah.  The truth is?  He's turned into a little boy on us!

All of the sudden Jonah is just off and at 'em - he started walking about 3 months ago and never looked back.  His new speed is full fledged run and I joke (sort of) that he has two speeds:  Running and sleeping.  The kid is a wild child.  I do not know where he gets his endless supply of energy - must just be a  boy thing but he does not take after Kirk and I and our couch potato ways at all - even to take a bottle he has to be moving - walking around or twiddling one of his legs or waving his hands.  He is a wonderful, joyful and social boy - just loves to laugh and visit with people.  He loves his daycare which is a huge plus since I can't imagine being home with him and a newborn by myself all day every day - not that I wouldn't love spending the time with him but would literally be a logistical nightmare.  This morning when I was getting ready for the day he figured out how to climb up onto our very high bed and then proceeded to jump head first into the pillows.  Ha!  He also loves climbing onto tables, tupperwares, basically anything he can get his little legs up onto....so while I'm happy to have the flexibility to have him home with me - at least for the first few months of this new babies life I'm happy to have daycare!  

I am proud of how we've worked together as a family since I've been back at work.  I was so nervous for these last 5 months - how we would balance our work lives with our family lives but all of us did really great.  I enjoyed working a lot more than I was expecting (I was actually sad to leave all my friends on my last day!) and Kirk and Jonah were both champs.  Was tough for Kirk I know to have to leave a lot earlier than we had in the past but he did great and Jonah did really well with super long days at daycare.  I'm happy that for the next year I'll be able to keep him on a more flexible schedule.

I haven't been good at keeping up this blog - mostly because one of the sacrifices of going back to work full time was that there really was just less time left at the end of the day - but we did a lot as a family these past few months, went away to Florida for a week and went to Mont Tremblant with my family - both trips were awesome, and I do want to keep this blog up to chronicle the boys milestones - it is such a nice thing to be able to look back upon since life is just continuing to move faster and faster.

I am nervous in a whole different way for this baby's arrival.  All of the things I knew nothing about with Jonah will now be no biggie - changing diapers, feeding etc - and I know I'll be less hard on myself for things I can't control like not sleeping and having a fussy baby etc - I know now from Jonah that newborns cry a lot, and sleep in small spurts, and no book tells you how to get them to stop doing either of those things because to be honest? That's just what they do and they will outgrow it.  What I do worry about this time is having enough of me to go around, to give Jonah the love and attention he has and to give it to a new little person also.  I have to believe that the love we have for Jonah will just multiply and there will be a different place in my heart for this new baby but just as large.

See you soon ;)