On being the mom of boys

Pin It Now! I need to preface the below by saying that I am first and foremost so thankful for two beautiful healthy babies.  I know that having a baby is something that so many long for and struggle with and I do appreciate how blessed we are.  

I never would have dreamed in my wildest dreams I would be the mom of boys.  It's not that I didn't want a boy - it's more that I just always expected to have a girl.  When we found out Jonah was a boy my feeling was "Great - a big brother" - and I always just assumed our second would be a girl.  I am a girl - friends with only girls, not a total girly girl but pretty close to it.  I think because of that I just never really considered having boys of my own.

When I found out that Liam was a boy I had a few days of feeling sort of funny about it.  Guilty for feeling like it was not what I had expected.  So quickly realizing that what would be was meant to be for our family.

Now that Liam is here I feel so foolish for ever questioning what was meant to be all along.  Of course Liam was meant to be here.  So we could be his parents.  So he could be our boy.  They are both such special gifts, such special souls that have been entrusted to us as parents.  Of course it was meant to be - I just didn't know it.

Jonah

• Taught me what it means to be a mom.   That sleeping on the floor of the living room beside him as an infant because he had a huge fever and it was too hot in his room was just totally the norm.  That putting myself first just wasn't an option or what I would choose even if I was made to -  that a "full nights" sleep just no longer exists the way it used to but somehow didn't matter anyway.  
• Is talking a lot - but getting so frustrated because what he says is still hard to understand and more times then not we have no clue what he means. 
• Lives totally in the moment.
• Likes to pretend talk on the phone to Nana and Nono "Haaay NahhNahh!" "Haaay NoohhNooh!"  
• Loves his dad. 

• Cries when he has to leave daycare.  I am glad he loves it so much but did have sort of hurt feelings - until one day last week when he woke up from his nap.  I picked him up and said "I love you" and he nuzzled in and gave me a big huge kiss smack on the lips without being asked.  
• Loves Ben - will give him kisses and hugs when they are in a room together and he doesn't know I'm watching.  
• Chased a flashlight around the house last night for a good while.  Was hysterical.  
• Loves twirling around and getting dizzy and falling down.  Will get up totally unfazed and move on.  Our baby linebacker - he must get knocked over a dozen times in a day and just gets up and keeps going.  Total boy.  Perfect for a big brother.  
• Will play his Handy Manny toolbox song and bop up and down and (I think) pretend to know the words but since he doesn't just say "OOOO" and close his eyes and smile.   I need to make a YouTube video of it.  I swear we'd make it onto the Ellen show it's so funny.  

Liam

• Is our Benjamin Buttons.  Such an old man soul.  
• So serene and sweet - such a calm placid demeanour 
• Has helped me realize that I need to take care of myself too.  His easy nature has afforded me the time to start to think about myself again.  To go to the gym.  To be rested.  To think about what I need to do for me plus 3.  
• Has strawberry birthmarks scattered around his body.  They'll go away by the time he's 5 or 6 and I'll miss them when they're gone.  
• Uses his hands a lot.  Loves to hold hands.    
• Is getting bigger but still so tiny baby compared to his brother at this age.  
• Loves to snuggle like a baby koala.  
• Is nothing that I was expecting but everything I ever wanted.